Thoughts On Transformation

Transformations and healing takes patience and faith. In yourself, in the process, in the outcome. And because the changes that are happening are so subtle, sometimes we doubt if we are even on the right healing track to begin with. So we dive headfirst into the next self help book, next personal development program, next TED Talk. All in search for that one magical “cure” that will click in our brains and finally save us from the spiral of agony. And I’ll be first to admit,  I’ve gone down quite a few rabbit holes in search for the “cure” to my never ending problems. Drowning in an ocean of promised solutions, not even knowing which one would actually bring me solace. I’d end up starting a bunch but never finishing anything and I’m left feeling helpless and worthless. Oh how I truly wish my fairy godmother would just magically appear, wave her wand and make all my problems go away! Is that too much to ask for?! Hah. 

What I realized was that I kept myself busy searching for these “cures” because I didn’t want to believe it was possible to change and transform. I actually wanted to stay in my patterns to justify my wounds and my anger and blame others for my shitty behaviour. It was EASIER to believe this story because I wouldn’t have to do the work. But transforming absolutely does not tolerate that, it forces you to face your shit and deal with it. And I didn’t want to do it. It didn’t matter how many self help books I read or personal development programs I subscribed to, or millions of hours spent watching YouTube, TED Talks. All this was just an excuse so I could tell myself sheepishly, “I’m doing the work” when in reality I was just cowardly dipping my toes in and out of the mud, doing the bare minimum, refusing to go all in. 

So here’s to calling out my bullshit, your bullshit, our bullshit. “You’re not stuck, you’re just lazy!” All the answers you need are inside of you. You just need to be willing to see it. You are wiser than you think, your intuition, your soul, your body will guide you to those trapped emotions that require healing and release. Traumas and patterns will surface when it knows you’re ready to face it. Be vigilant enough to catch it, be brave enough to work through it. Because I promise you, you will survive and come out stronger on the other side. So quiet your mind, be patient and sit still with the pain. The answers you seek are right there. Listen to the message it has for you. And most of all, have faith in yourself. 

TLDR; You can change, just be patient.

Jenny Yen